Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
