Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
