No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize