Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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