so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
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I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
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I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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