I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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