ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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