You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
