Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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