i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
