I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dignity is for republicans.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
