You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
