Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
