I wish I only lived at night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
