Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
