yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
