So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
