it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
