You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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