two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
