I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
