A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize