turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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