Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
