just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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