Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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