I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
