yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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