my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We just shotgunned beers for America
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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