Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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