He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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