Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
