I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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