You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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