Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize