dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
