i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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