I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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