hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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