O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize