Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
