I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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