He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
