where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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