so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
