Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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