these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
