It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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