do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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