you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
