I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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