i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
