Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Terrible idea I love it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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