so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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