Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
