So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
