I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
