yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
