people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
