He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Alive.
So much puke
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
