So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
