I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
